Let me say that I am proud to be a Coloured person and I am proud of my heritage!
My problems began when the RECEPTIONIST referred to me as being black with straight hair. I am fairly dark-skinned, darker when I get a little sunlight! I politely explained to her that I am known as a Coloured, something that I have always insisted on being classified as even when filing out the endless paperwork for the NHS. I am mixed, and any fool can see that! The receptionist is Black with her heritage from the West Indies.
She kept at it with me being black, many times in front of other colleagues. I told her on several occasions that I was not black and I was coloured. In the end I just started ignoring her comments and carrying on with my day-to-day duties at work.
But she always found a way to work on me. Some of the comments included “I’m going to go home and have a laugh about this with my mother”, “Your children must be confused, what colour do you tell them they are”, “YOU ARE BLACK!”.
I had enough of her, despite me telling her on several occasions that I would prefer not to discuss it. It started affecting my health and I found that I was falling sick for no real reason. She had affected me to that extent.
I discussed it with my Manager who told me that he heard her discussing it with someone at her desk and he asked her not to discuss it because it upsets me, something he denied to HR later on!
I did get an email from her apologising and stating that she knows how difficult it is because she has "white" relatives. Obviously she has no idea how it feels because if she has white relatives, then I have alien relatives from Mars. she may have relatives that have married white people, but this girl did not pay enough attention in Biology. I emailed her back accepting her apology, and telling her to forget about it.
Well my Manager did nothing about it and the abuse carried on. In the end, I didn’t want to go to work because I didn’t want to be put in the spotlight and my ethnicity examined in an open court.
Of course by this time, she had probably discussed the issue with the whole office. I’m sure if everyone was asked to give evidence under oath, they would all deny any knowledge of such a discussion so as not to get involved, or the way I see it, keep the pressure up on the bullying. Well, they would deny it, unless you told them that you would use a lie detector! Then, everyone will change their stories!
I spoke to my other half and we both agreed that maybe a letter to the Manager may force his hand into doing something. So in the nicest way, I complained about the constant abuse from the receptionist and pointed out that I was only interested in the abuse stopping and not getting anyone fired. For the record, the Receptionist already has 2 written warnings about her conduct from HR after formal complaints were made about her.
In my Manager's infinite wisdom, he didn’t try and sort it out with a quick chat to both of us, he passed it onto HR. This is the first time I realised that he has no way of dealing with people issues, and especially recognising that that a problem exists in his department. At this point, I knew that it was my word against hers.
HR contacted me and told me that they would be coming in to try and resolve the situation. In the meantime, we both had holidays and did not cross each other’s paths much to give her an opportunity to pick on me.
At this point, I was mentally drained and really did not have the capacity to defend myself, or accuse anyone of doing anything. Something that both my Manager and HR failed to recognise. HR are based at a geographically differently located office, and I don't think that they have the faintest ideas of the office politics and who hangs around with who.
I attended the meeting with the Receptionist and HR because I made the informal complaint, and HR are following the recommended minimum procedures. I did ask for my Manager to attend because at the time I felt that the Receptionist would lie and by him being there, she might be persuaded from lying all through the meeting. HR denied my request, and my Manager was barred from the meeting. HR told me that the meeting would be between us three and "the 4 walls", something she said when we were all present! Also, notes were taken, not minutes.
She then relayed my grievences to the Receptionist who sat doodling on her pad whilst denying everything that she said. She did admit to the abuse, the bare minimum to justify her apology email, but she also admitted to saying sorry and that she did not continue after she apologised. So then, I'm a liar. I wonder if that is called defamation of character? Why would I bother to complain about someone that has been working there for more than 6 years, has already escaped 2 warnings and who nows how many others that haven't been reported, and I have barely been here 6 months?
The receptionist spoke to me like I was a child in the meeting. I mentally was not prepared to argue with this girl so I just didn't bother in hounding her for an answer, and I am not that kind of person anyway! The highlight of this meeting was the mention of mutual colleague of ours. She kept referring to her despite the fact that both HR and I reminded her on many occasions that she was not involved and if she was, she would be in the meeting.
The meeting ended with her saying that she was not like that and she didn't say almost all of what I remember her saying. She left the meeting and I relayed to HR that she was lying. I did get a muted agreement from HR, who insisted that their hands are tied into doing anything about it at this point.
Long after the meeting, I relayed to another colleague, who had been there when she said most of these things, what the Receptionist had denied in the meeting. She was gobsmacked and questioned why I didn't stick up for myself? I don't think anyone can understand what I felt like through this period! I had been mentally abused to the point that everything I did was affected.
Anyway, the receptionist left the meeting and proceeded to call, from the company phone, our mutual colleague, and tell her that I had involved her in our meeting. They had a shouting match over the phone and she decided that she was going to head back into the office because she shouldn't be involved. I will explain in Part 2 what part she plays in all this. Both my Manager and HR called her and told her that she should not come back into the office because the meeting did not involve her.
But, it was too late, the damage had been done. Me, the whinger, who had tried to sit down with this girl and resolve the situation, had been seen to involve a third party! The exact opposite of what I was hoping to achieve. The consequences of this fateful call, in part 2!
Friday 16 February 2007
Who I am
Well, let me explain how it all started!
I am from Southern Africa, with ancestors from the local African and the settling European. The history of my racial background goes something like this:
I am locally known, in the country of my origin, as a Goffal or a Coloured. Coloured is my official race as designated to me by the Government and appears on my birth certificate and any official government document that will refer to my race. It would not be normal for a person to say, “Please ask that coloured person to stop” if I was walking down the street. Everyone would know who to stop.
Coloured, I hate the word Goffal, can refer to a mixture of any race but is predominantly a mixture of local black tribes, and white settlers. 99% of Goffal surnames are of European origin, mainly English and Dutch names.
During the white minority rule in then Rhodesia, all children resulting from interracial relations were separated from their families and put into race specific schools and restricted to living in coloured designated neighbourhoods. As a result the mixed race offspring began to marry and have families within their racial. The Coloured community began to grow and gain an identity. This evolution happened over around 200 years I would estimate. I’m not a historian, I am just looking back at family histories! Go to www.goffal.com for a little idea of the community and search the terms Goffal and mixed race Southern Africans in wikipedia for more information.
The sad thing about our community is that because we really have suffered from not having any good relationships with both White European and Black African, we have very little written history. Also, because we have suffered as a community under both these groups, we don’t really have any identity.
Our forefathers who would be pensioners now, did jobs such as boilermaking, welding, mechanics, and the women were mainly secretaries and clerks in the banks under Colonial Rule. When Independence was granted, the Black Africans took over the power and the jobs from the European whites that had settled. Coloured people always had the benefit of better jobs than African blacks under Colonial rule. Coloureds were still shunned upon because they had been favoured under the Colonial rule and, therefore work place progression suffering continued. Few coloured businessmen and women started their own companies and progressed in their careers. Most did what their parents did.
Traditional coloured designated areas still exist until today, and so do white and black, but there is more integration in that society. It is still shunned upon to marry someone outside your race. Coloured people have moved to all the corners of the earth for economic reasons.
I grew up in the era just after independence and am one of the lucky ones who views people of all colours as just human beings. Coming from the society I grew up in, this is an achievement and something that can only accomplished successfully if you leave Africa all together.
I am from Southern Africa, with ancestors from the local African and the settling European. The history of my racial background goes something like this:
I am locally known, in the country of my origin, as a Goffal or a Coloured. Coloured is my official race as designated to me by the Government and appears on my birth certificate and any official government document that will refer to my race. It would not be normal for a person to say, “Please ask that coloured person to stop” if I was walking down the street. Everyone would know who to stop.
Coloured, I hate the word Goffal, can refer to a mixture of any race but is predominantly a mixture of local black tribes, and white settlers. 99% of Goffal surnames are of European origin, mainly English and Dutch names.
During the white minority rule in then Rhodesia, all children resulting from interracial relations were separated from their families and put into race specific schools and restricted to living in coloured designated neighbourhoods. As a result the mixed race offspring began to marry and have families within their racial. The Coloured community began to grow and gain an identity. This evolution happened over around 200 years I would estimate. I’m not a historian, I am just looking back at family histories! Go to www.goffal.com for a little idea of the community and search the terms Goffal and mixed race Southern Africans in wikipedia for more information.
The sad thing about our community is that because we really have suffered from not having any good relationships with both White European and Black African, we have very little written history. Also, because we have suffered as a community under both these groups, we don’t really have any identity.
Our forefathers who would be pensioners now, did jobs such as boilermaking, welding, mechanics, and the women were mainly secretaries and clerks in the banks under Colonial Rule. When Independence was granted, the Black Africans took over the power and the jobs from the European whites that had settled. Coloured people always had the benefit of better jobs than African blacks under Colonial rule. Coloureds were still shunned upon because they had been favoured under the Colonial rule and, therefore work place progression suffering continued. Few coloured businessmen and women started their own companies and progressed in their careers. Most did what their parents did.
Traditional coloured designated areas still exist until today, and so do white and black, but there is more integration in that society. It is still shunned upon to marry someone outside your race. Coloured people have moved to all the corners of the earth for economic reasons.
I grew up in the era just after independence and am one of the lucky ones who views people of all colours as just human beings. Coming from the society I grew up in, this is an achievement and something that can only accomplished successfully if you leave Africa all together.
New Job?
Well, last night was a bit of a bummer, my workmate's car battery was flat and she asked me if I can use my spanking new baby to charge it. In the process, she broke the cover for my battery. Not an issue but I think they put it there for a reason!
So I told her and got the usual, "it looks OK, can we get the part from the cheapest place!" If I wanted a second hand part, I would have bought a second hand car!
Well what do you know, a colleague of mine left the office for a couple of hours of their private business, but they didn't have to sign in the book! I wonder why I have to sign it then? Are they monitoring me, or am I just being paranoid?
I've decided that the only way to progress is to leave and find myself something else! It was a really hard decision with everyone advising me not to go down that road, but I feel that I will never grow here. A couple of weeks ago, a colleague was made part of our team to "help" when I needed it. Well, the problem is everyone knew that he was going to become part of the team except me, who was to work with him. And to top it off, The Team Leader, takes him for a drink! I suppose that I am the wrong gender for that. No one took me for a drink when I joined!
FYI, greeted the receptionist, she ignored me again. She can’t keep ignoring me everytime I greet her. Well, she has been. The other one who made a complaint against me greets me. I politely greet back but I am still wary of her motives.
I’m still staying out of her way, not prepared to get bitten again. I’ve noticed that she doesn’t say anything to the Manager when I am around, but as soon as I leave my desk, she chats away with him like they are old buddies. Well maybe they are?
So I told her and got the usual, "it looks OK, can we get the part from the cheapest place!" If I wanted a second hand part, I would have bought a second hand car!
Well what do you know, a colleague of mine left the office for a couple of hours of their private business, but they didn't have to sign in the book! I wonder why I have to sign it then? Are they monitoring me, or am I just being paranoid?
I've decided that the only way to progress is to leave and find myself something else! It was a really hard decision with everyone advising me not to go down that road, but I feel that I will never grow here. A couple of weeks ago, a colleague was made part of our team to "help" when I needed it. Well, the problem is everyone knew that he was going to become part of the team except me, who was to work with him. And to top it off, The Team Leader, takes him for a drink! I suppose that I am the wrong gender for that. No one took me for a drink when I joined!
So, there is really no point in hanging around here. I am a number and I will never get the respect and acknowledgement for the amount of work that I do! I don’t go drinking with the boys to the pub, I don’t think my other half will appreciate that!
And another thing, he mustn’t think that I’m going to train him. The only reason he got the gig is that he apparently knows how to do my job, because he has done it at his previous job. Well, this job is the same right across the industry! You don’t have to be taught it if you have done it before. The most you will need to learn how to do is invoice, which he knows!
FYI, greeted the receptionist, she ignored me again. She can’t keep ignoring me everytime I greet her. Well, she has been. The other one who made a complaint against me greets me. I politely greet back but I am still wary of her motives.
I’m still staying out of her way, not prepared to get bitten again. I’ve noticed that she doesn’t say anything to the Manager when I am around, but as soon as I leave my desk, she chats away with him like they are old buddies. Well maybe they are?
Wednesday 14 February 2007
I'm Late for Work, My Bad!
Well there has been an accident in the area and there is no way that I am going to get into work on time.
It amazes me how the Police in the UK deal with accidents? To cause maximum disruption to everyone! I suppose they have guidelines to follow, and in all fairness, I doubt there is a better Police force in the world!
Anyway, I called my boss to tell him that I am running late and will work my time in during my lunch hour. He had no problem with that and he told me not to forget to put it in the timebook.
Well, yes we have a time book and everyone is supposed to make an entry when they leave the office. For example, if you are going out to meet a client, you put it down in this book. Well, I've been here for 1 year and 8 months and all the times I've taken time to go to the doctor, late because of whatever reason, I've never been told about entering this information into this book. In fact, just yesterday, a colleague of mine came in late and was not told to enter this into the time book, and they did not volunteer to do it. Interesting? I wonder if this is in the employee handbook?
For the record, I got in 20 minutes late, and I worked about 35 minutes more that I should have last night!
So I'll send the boss an email and ask him which book I should put this down in because I have noticed that no one is using the book he has asked me to use!
I need to start my story from scratch so you all know why I have decided to use a blog to make a record of all that goes on surrounding me.
HR don't seem to be to concerned about my concerns. They are just following procedure, which is their job. I think that all HR people should attend conflict management classes so they can recognise what is a conflict and how it affects productivity.
My work problems have made me more aware of my surroundings and also how bullying changes faces making it virtually impossible to try and stop it in the workplace, without letting everyone wear a big brother style microphone so everything is recorded!
It has been very difficult to even have the energy to do what I am doing now. Bullies break you down so that you are constantly physically and mentally drained.
And it doesn't help that I am an emotional person that wears my heart on my sleeve. Something a male dominated industry will never understand!
It amazes me how the Police in the UK deal with accidents? To cause maximum disruption to everyone! I suppose they have guidelines to follow, and in all fairness, I doubt there is a better Police force in the world!
Anyway, I called my boss to tell him that I am running late and will work my time in during my lunch hour. He had no problem with that and he told me not to forget to put it in the timebook.
Well, yes we have a time book and everyone is supposed to make an entry when they leave the office. For example, if you are going out to meet a client, you put it down in this book. Well, I've been here for 1 year and 8 months and all the times I've taken time to go to the doctor, late because of whatever reason, I've never been told about entering this information into this book. In fact, just yesterday, a colleague of mine came in late and was not told to enter this into the time book, and they did not volunteer to do it. Interesting? I wonder if this is in the employee handbook?
For the record, I got in 20 minutes late, and I worked about 35 minutes more that I should have last night!
So I'll send the boss an email and ask him which book I should put this down in because I have noticed that no one is using the book he has asked me to use!
I need to start my story from scratch so you all know why I have decided to use a blog to make a record of all that goes on surrounding me.
HR don't seem to be to concerned about my concerns. They are just following procedure, which is their job. I think that all HR people should attend conflict management classes so they can recognise what is a conflict and how it affects productivity.
My work problems have made me more aware of my surroundings and also how bullying changes faces making it virtually impossible to try and stop it in the workplace, without letting everyone wear a big brother style microphone so everything is recorded!
It has been very difficult to even have the energy to do what I am doing now. Bullies break you down so that you are constantly physically and mentally drained.
And it doesn't help that I am an emotional person that wears my heart on my sleeve. Something a male dominated industry will never understand!
Tuesday 13 February 2007
Same Old Situation
I got in this morning, I haven't seen her for a while. As usual I greet her but she ignores me. I really can't be bothered but I will be the bigger person and greet her. One of the other ladies comes out of the restroom just as I walked in. She gives me the cold shoulder too and the receptionist comments, "Did you see how I ignored her?" Is she talking about me, who she just ignored?
Well the day is good so far, my colleague that made a complaint against me has greeted me. Shock horror! I am pleasantly surprised with this and I greet her back, for the first time meaning it and not just spluttering it out! I'm still wary of her because she has changed from totally ignoring me and mentally playing with my mind to being all nice and friendly! I don't know what her game is? What I do know is that I will definitely be staying out of her path. I think it is safer that way! Then she can't complain about what I didn't do to her!
Had an informal meeting with a senior member of my team. He is a real character. Nice guy but, not really your people's person. He babbled on about nothing and tried to act important. But what shocked me is that he has said that he is glad that my issues with the complaint girl is over and he hopes that I can start pulling my weight! He went on to say that the reason they hired me was because they know I can do the job, but I haven't been doing it! What? So what he is really saying is that I am crap at my job. Thanks for telling me! Obviously the probation period was just routine and they couldn't be bothered to find someone else. Or maybe he is out of the office to much to see what really goes on! I'm not the one that takes 2 hour lunches. I'm not the one that goes to visit clients without any paperwork! And I'm the one that does his work and mine! Oh yes, he said that if things got ugly he would have stuck in my corner! Fat chance?
Well he has spend his whole day sorting out an issue that one of his working son's had! I wonder who is not doing their job? But he is good at what he does, I'll give him that! He has brought in a good amount of business, but with less wine, he could probably double that! If only the bosses knew!
Well the day is good so far, my colleague that made a complaint against me has greeted me. Shock horror! I am pleasantly surprised with this and I greet her back, for the first time meaning it and not just spluttering it out! I'm still wary of her because she has changed from totally ignoring me and mentally playing with my mind to being all nice and friendly! I don't know what her game is? What I do know is that I will definitely be staying out of her path. I think it is safer that way! Then she can't complain about what I didn't do to her!
Had an informal meeting with a senior member of my team. He is a real character. Nice guy but, not really your people's person. He babbled on about nothing and tried to act important. But what shocked me is that he has said that he is glad that my issues with the complaint girl is over and he hopes that I can start pulling my weight! He went on to say that the reason they hired me was because they know I can do the job, but I haven't been doing it! What? So what he is really saying is that I am crap at my job. Thanks for telling me! Obviously the probation period was just routine and they couldn't be bothered to find someone else. Or maybe he is out of the office to much to see what really goes on! I'm not the one that takes 2 hour lunches. I'm not the one that goes to visit clients without any paperwork! And I'm the one that does his work and mine! Oh yes, he said that if things got ugly he would have stuck in my corner! Fat chance?
Well he has spend his whole day sorting out an issue that one of his working son's had! I wonder who is not doing their job? But he is good at what he does, I'll give him that! He has brought in a good amount of business, but with less wine, he could probably double that! If only the bosses knew!
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